where I am

I'm angry at my sister for not calling anyone to say she wouldn't be coming to the family dinner today. And she didn't even check in to see what time dinner would be. Dinner wasn't spectacular and it didn't help that her place setting sat empty through the entire dinner just staring at us.

I know it isn't my responsibility to make things happen in the right way, but it's hard for me to have family events and have her not be there.....or not even invited.

This is my turning point. I'm done trying to help her out with regards to my dad and their feud. I feel for her and I can see her side of things but that doesn't give her the excuse to act like an (insert your favorite expletive here). In some ways she's just not where the good stuff is for me. And I love her and won't kick her out of my life, but she has her limits and I'm done giving 110% to try to make her be happier.

I still worry. I worry that she's depressed and will spiral out of control and be miserable. And then my mind can just go from there. And the worst part is that I worry that maybe in all my anger she was unable to call because she's layed up in a hospital or something worse.

But she's likely not and then I'm just angry at her for being inconsiderate....and then I feel guilty and the whole cycle starts up again.